Funky

I have been in a bit of a funk lately. I have just been blah... do you know what I mean? I had just chalked it up to the fact that it is Summer and we really don't have much of a schedule going on. We are defiantly a schedule type of family. The kiddos haven't been in school on a regular basis, Husband has been traveling, Daughter was sick for a good week, and Son is getting stir crazy. I figured that all of this combined has just put me in a funk.

Until last night. Husband and I were sitting on the couch talking (while he gave me a foot rub!!) and something dawned on me. I was thinking about the sermon we had at church on Sunday and it hit me like a ton of bricks. We are going through a sermon series called "Destinations" and so far it has proven to be fantastic (they usually are). The basis of the series is that we are all on different paths in life- the path of your marriage (or single life), your career path, your family path, even things like the type of entertainment you choose is a path that you are on. You may be on the right path, or you may be headed down a not-so-great path, but you are on a path none-the-less. (If you are interested in the series you can download it here.)

As Husband and I were just sitting and chatting about what the future hold for us (there are a lot of "what-if"s going on in our house right now!) it occurred to me that my funk isn't induced by anyone other than me. It isn't because Daughter was sick and wearing her Super Crank suit, it isn't because Son is getting to be more like a big boy every day and is therefore becoming more interested in stuff that I can't relate to at all (I just really don't understand the excitement of tackling your sister when she is peacefully minding her own business and reading books), it isn't because of a lack of scheduled outings or whatever else I can point my finger at. My funk is because of me and the paths I am on. I am not on a wrong path, and I don't even think I am headed in the wrong direction on the right path (unless I am really turned around and don't even know I'm not going the right way!!)... it's that I am on the path and just standing there. I am looking around at the scenery and becoming frustrated that it looks just like it did yesterday. What do I expect... I'm not going anywhere!!! That realization really compelled me to get off of my funky heine and do something to change the view. I started to get up at my "regular" time and not sleeping in just because we don't have anything on the docket for the day. I worked on keeping the house maintained instead of letting it slip into dust (not bunnies) jack-a-lope heaven. I worked on being kind to my children... not just tolerant and nice, but truly "I love you from the bottom of my heart and I am so glad that you are my kiddo" kind. I worked on lovingly communicating with Husband, not just interacting like a husband and wife in the midst of life with small children sometimes do.

You know... it's only been a day, but I feel a lot less funky.