I Thought I Was Going To Wet My Pants...

I was randomly zipping around the internet (because there you have the whole world at your fingertips!) and found an article titled "Bold Dresses for the Bold Bride" or something to that effect. I thought I would see how styles have changed in the wedding world since I was a part of it many years ago. Not that I was a "bold" bride, but whatever.

As I am clicking through the slide show of pictures I am seeing lots of dresses that I would never in my wildest imagination dare to wear, though I do find intriguing. Then I happen upon this picture. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to wet my pants.




Now I can get over the yellow apron with black ink stains all over it. The dress as the bottom "layer" of the outfit seems like a dress that I would wear myself, should the occasion arise. I wonder is she knows that she is wearing a pin cushion for a bracelet? What really cracks me up is the fact that this poor woman apparently has one of two things (or two of two things) going on on her wedding day;

1- She is marrying a tyrant who won't even let her have their wedding day off from sewing clothes for all of the little elves that so painstakingly calligraphied (is that a word?) all of the wedding invitations by hand.

-or-

2- The poor woman's biological clock is ticking so loudly that she just wants to be done with it and let everyone know that, yes, she does realize that she is getting older and, yes, she does have babies on the brain. She, in fact, has so many babies on the brain that it is too difficult to even hold her head up straight.

Poor woman! I sure hope that the-seamstress-to-ink-spraying-elves-wife-of-a-tyrant can have kids soon so she can at least get that darned kink out of her neck!

It's 9:00... Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

I know where my children are.

Daughter is laying on the floor in her room squishing her fingers under the door and saying "Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?".

Son is out of bed wandering around to tell me that he has "the most hiccups all the time".

And believe it or not, Husband has been sacked out on the couch for the last hour. (Not that he is one of my children, but I thought you might like to know anyway.)

What is going on in this house? Kiddos are usually in bed by 7:15 at the latest and asleep not long after that. Husband and I are usually in bed by 10:00 at the earliest (and asleep about 3 seconds after our heads hit the pillow!). Is it the knowledge that outside our house it's Summer time? Is it the knowledge that out in the yard it is not nearly as hot as it was this afternoon and might therefore actually be enjoyable to play on the swing set (except that we are experiencing about 4000% humidity right now)? Maybe it's the fact that the kiddos know that Daddy is asleep and feel the need to keep me company until my quilt finally finishes drying in the dryer (they are pretty sweet like that!) and I can go to bed myself.

Whatever it is, I Really Ought To Be Doing Something Else... like sorting through the large USPS Priority Mail box that I have stuffed full of papers (mostly junk mail, I think) to organize. It has been looking at me all day. I guess I should get to it now- I am afraid that if I ignore it any longer, it will crawl into bed with me in the middle of the night just so that I can't ignore it in the morning. Not such a nice thing to wake up to... unless it is bring me my coffee.

June

It's June. How do I know? Not because the calendar says it is. Because we had June Bugs last night. Did I see any when I was outside on the night of May 31st? Nope. June 1st? Yep.

June Bugs... the most dependable calendar there is. Yuck.

Oh Sheets!!

We have 3 beds in this house. I have washed 5 sets of sheets in the past 36 hours. The math just shouldn't add up. Put a little boy with too much to drink right before bed and a husband with a maimed thumb, and there's how the equation works.

The bright spot in this whole sheet washing frenzy? 2 "clean sheet" nights in a row. How I love to crawl into a bed that has not yet been slept in. Utterly wrinkle free. The lovely, symmetric fold lines still visible in the sheets. The light scent of freshly dried cotton as the quilt is folded down for the night and the linens are exposed. Oh, bliss.

It is the only night when I am guaranteed to be the first one in bed. Husband knows how much I love clean sheet night, so each week he dutifully stands next to the bed while I appreciatively crawl into the bed ever so slowly as to not wrinkle the smooth surface any more than is strictly necessary. I suppose it's the little pleasures in life that get you through, right?

The bad side of 3 beds = 5 sheet sets? I have to wash 5 sets of sheets (and fold them!!). The good side of 3 beds = 5 sheet sets? Clean sheet night x2 this week!

Eyebrow Flossing

Has anyone out there ever had their eyebrows "flossed" (it's sometimes called "threading")?

I was lying on the waxing table at the salon the other day thinking about what a pain it is to have to get my eyebrows waxed (sometimes literally a pain!). I realize that it is not a true necessity of life to have one's eyebrows shaped, but since I really think very little of eyebrows (really the only credit that I give them is that God put them on my face and He knows what He's doing, so I know they are there for a reason!) I have decided that it is best to trust the professionals to make them look as nice as a little patch of fur hovering over my eyes can look.

A quick side note here... Husband (not knowing what I am currently posting about) just came over to me to show me his impressive 4 foot long single eyebrow hair.

So I'm lying on the table with a bright light shining through my eyelids (yes, it was that bright!) and all of the sudden I remembered that I once had my eyebrows "flossed." It was fast, it didn't hurt, and it didn't leave the tell-tale red splotches on my puffy, freshly waxed eyebrow line. I asked my hairstylist/ eyebrow ripper-outer if she had ever heard of it and she laughed at me. Actually laughed out loud. She really thought I was joking. When I explained to her what it was, she was amazed and said that she was going to ask around about it. I still don't think she completely bought the whole concept.

My question is this... Is there anyone else that has had an eyebrow flossing experience? Was it really less painful then the waxing or was I just too young and dumb to realize that it really did feel like someone was ripping my eyebrows off with dental floss?